
We often spend more time with our colleagues than with our own families. Yet despite sharing countless hours, our work relationships tend to remain surface-level. We collaborate, communicate, and complete tasks โ but we rarely stop to think about what someone might be dealing with after they log off. The reality is that many people wear a mask at work. Behind the professionalism and politeness may be silent battles with anxiety, depression, addiction, or burnout.
Visit any of the many private alcohol and drug rehabilitation centres, for example, and you’ll find dozens of people struggling with addiction, often as a result of trying to cope with work stress. These are struggles you’d never suspect from sitting next to them in the office. While you can’t fix their problems, simply noticing the signs and showing support can make a real difference. Whether someone seeks help at a luxury rehab center or through other treatment options, the path to recovery often begins with having supportive colleagues who care.
In today’s high-stress world, mental health issues are more common than ever โ yet still largely invisible. Most people hide their struggles to avoid judgment or because they don’t know where to turn. Being a good colleague means being willing to see beyond the surface. There are signs that your colleague may be struggling, and reaching out to support them can make all the difference. But how do you spot when someone may be struggling with their mental health?
Noticeable Changes in Mood or Personality
Everyone has off days, but when a normally upbeat colleague becomes distant, irritable, or overly anxious over a sustained period, itโs often a sign of deeper emotional stress. A personโs demeanor rarely shifts for no reason โ these changes typically reflect something they’re dealing with internally. Emotional exhaustion can change how someone shows up, speaks, or engages with the team. Even subtle changes can be important. Trust your instincts if something feels off.
Watch for:
- Sudden Irritability or Mood Swings: A previously patient colleague might now lose their temper over minor issues or become unreasonably upset.
- Emotional Outbursts or Visible Anxiety: They may tear up unexpectedly, appear jumpy, or become easily overwhelmed during discussions.
- A Shift from Sociable to Withdrawn or Quiet: Someone who once joked around or led conversations might start keeping to themselves without explanation.
Decline in Performance or Productivity
Mental health struggles often affect a personโs ability to concentrate, retain information, or stay motivated. Someone whoโs normally efficient and focused may begin to miss details, submit work late, or seem distracted in meetings. These changes often go unnoticed until the impact on team output becomes clear. Rather than assuming laziness or poor time management, consider whether they may be mentally overwhelmed.
Look out for:
- Missed Deadlines or Rushed, Sloppy Work: Deliverables may arrive late or with more errors than usual, often lacking their usual attention to detail.
- Frequent Forgetfulness or Lack of Focus: They may repeatedly ask for information already provided or seem mentally “checked out” in meetings.
- Reduced Creativity, Confidence, or Engagement: They may stop volunteering ideas, second-guess their contributions, or express doubt in their abilities.
Increased Absences or Presenteeism
Time away from work โ or showing up while clearly unwell โ can both point to serious personal struggles. While frequent sick days may raise flags, presenteeism is often harder to notice. Itโs when someone is physically present but emotionally and mentally unavailable. They might show up every day, but their productivity, engagement, and energy are noticeably low. Both patterns reflect someone who is trying to cope, not slack off.
Pay attention to:
- Frequent or Last-Minute Absences: These may be accompanied by vague explanations or patterns, like always missing work on Mondays or after stressful meetings.
- Coming in Visibly Unwell or Burned Out: They may appear pale, disoriented, or exhausted โ and still insist on pushing through the day.
- Staying Late, Skipping Breaks, or Working Through Illness: This overcompensation often stems from guilt, fear, or a need to hide how much theyโre struggling.
Withdrawal From Social Interaction
Most people crave some level of connection at work, whether itโs chatting over coffee or venting after a long meeting. When someone suddenly pulls away from these interactions, it can be a sign that theyโre mentally checking out โ or struggling with feelings of shame, anxiety, or depression. Social withdrawal can be a coping mechanism that masks internal distress. If someone who was once socially active now keeps to themselves, itโs worth gently checking in.
Signs include:
- Avoiding Team Lunches or Group Meetings: They might stop showing up without explanation or excuse themselves early from every gathering.
- Staying Silent During Casual Chats or Group Discussions: They may physically be there, but emotionally disconnected or unresponsive.
- Choosing to Work Alone Even When Collaboration is Expected: They might opt for isolated tasks, decline offers for help, or prefer email over conversation.
Changes in Appearance or Personal Care
Personal grooming and appearance can offer strong clues into a personโs mental well-being. If a colleague who used to be sharp and polished begins to look tired, unkempt, or less put-together, it could be a signal that theyโre struggling with motivation or self-worth. Depression, for example, can make even basic routines like showering or getting dressed feel overwhelming. While one off-day shouldnโt raise alarms, consistent changes are worth noticing.
Watch for:
- Looking Consistently Fatigued or Disheveled: Dark circles, wrinkled clothes, or an overall โdrainedโ look can suggest chronic exhaustion or sleeplessness.
- Wearing the Same Clothes for Several Days: This might indicate theyโre skipping laundry or struggling to care about their appearance.
- Neglecting Personal Grooming or Hygiene: Uncombed hair, unshaven faces, or changes in makeup or nail care may reflect apathy or a loss of routine.
What You Can Do
You donโt need to be a therapist to make a difference. Simply being aware, present, and compassionate can offer someone the safe space theyโve been missing. Many people just want to feel seen โ and knowing someone notices can be a powerful first step toward healing.
- Ask, Donโt Assume: Start with a non-judgmental, private conversation. A simple, โYou havenโt seemed like yourself lately โ is everything okay?โ can open the door to connection.
- Listen Without Fixing: Let them speak freely without jumping in to offer solutions. Sometimes, being heard is more valuable than hearing advice.
- Offer Practical Support: Ask how you can help. That might mean taking a task off their plate, helping them speak to HR, or guiding them toward professional support resources.
- Follow Up Over Time: One conversation wonโt fix everything. Reconnect regularly, even just to say, โJust checking in โ Iโm still here if you need to talk.โ
- Lead With Empathy: Keep in mind, they may be doing the best they can just to get through the day. Patience and understanding can make your workplace feel safer for someone whoโs struggling.
Final Thoughts
Mental health issues arenโt always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, they hide behind missed deadlines, long silences, or tired smiles. The colleague who seems fine might be the one whoโs falling apart inside. In a world that glorifies hustle and performance, paying attention is a powerful act of humanity. You may not be able to change someoneโs situation โ but by noticing, caring, and reaching out, you could be the reason they donโt feel alone in it.
Suggested articles:
- 5 Mental Health Tips Every Project Manager Should Follow to Avoid Depression
- How Can PMs Prioritize Mental Health Collaboration
- Work-Life Harmony: Strategies for Managers to Disconnect from Work
Daniel Raymond, a project manager with over 20 years of experience, is the former CEO of a successful software company called Websystems. With a strong background in managing complex projects, he applied his expertise to develop AceProject.com and Bridge24.com, innovative project management tools designed to streamline processes and improve productivity. Throughout his career, Daniel has consistently demonstrated a commitment to excellence and a passion for empowering teams to achieve their goals.